sad days... venting commencing

So in the last 24 hours I have spent 2 hours on the phone trying to find out why one of my/hubby's meds is not covered, and found out that we should have gotten it but there was an email error and one insurance hubby was removed from (even if we just got a new card from them) several months ago (news to us) and so it is getting fixed but what a pain!!!!
then I find out that a relative who is expecting was put on bed rest for the last couple of months and their rental house is being sold from under them so they are gonna have to move (HOW? when she cannot get up to pack, and her hubby has his hands full with school and the toddler?)
And the icing on the $hit cake... growing up we moved every 2-2 1/2 years until I was 10 then we lived in the same place until I was 17. I grew to love that place and the people there. Early this morning the grandmother on the street passed :...(
it has not been a fun 24 hours and I am done with this day.
I am also having a flare and eating is a pain (literally, my intestines cramp up when I eat and so I am in bed trying to rest, but it is hard to rest when my brain is trying to solve all these issues and be sad.. so I write..

Food Traditions

I have so many traditions with the holidays, and this year I wanted to do something special for my step-kids who do not live with us. I have been taught their dad's lasagna (he still checks every batch to make sure I am on track) and I froze one for each of the kids not living with us... well that got me thinking about the need to put it down on paper and so this is the start... I cannot give out the sauce part as that is the family secret (but I have passed it on to the kids)

Dad’s Lasagna (makes 2 pans)

Triple batch Mom Bronson’s pasta sauce (this is a meat sauce)

Large container Ricotta Cheese

2 lbs Mozzarella

1 can grated Parmesan (you might not need it all)

1 large box lasagna noodles

1 box chopped spinach (optional)

Cook noodles, drain and rinse with cold water (place in cold water so they do not stick, I use the pot)

Mix Ricotta and spinach

Place mozzarella in freezer for 45 min then grate (much easier to grate, you can use a food processor for this as size and shape does not matter so much)

Assembly:

Start with a about 1 cup of sauce in the bottom then a layer of noodles (most dishes take 3 across)

Top with ricotta mixture, grated mozzarella and some parmesan then more sauce (about 2-3 cups)

Repeat 2 more times on the top of the last sauce add more mozzarella and parmesan.

Cooking:

Heat in the oven at 350 degrees for 45 min – 1 hour, until the top is brown and the sauce bubbly (it is a good idea to place on a cookie sheet or line the oven when cooking)

If frozen allow to thaw as much as possible then add 30 min- 1 hour to cooking time if still frozen at all.    

At my house we always made gluten stakes for holidays (as growing up I did not eat meat) and I still love them. and we all had a little different way of making them but the memories of cooking with my mom are great!

I also have a wonderful cookie from my Ex mother in law (still love them, no ill feelings on my end) but I did not get to making that this year (I forgot until to late, as they need to sit for 6 weeks) sorry I do not have permission to pass that one on :) but I will say that I have given it to the my step-kids.

My step kids have also given some to me, they shared their grandmother's brownies (the best out there and simple!!!) and other traditions like having stew on Halloween (and their Grandmother's recipe for stew!) but again I do not share what I do not have permission to. What I did with those was make sure they are on the computer and I wish to make a book out of them for the kids at some point (even if I print it simple)  

homemade laundry soap version 2.0

I really liked the soap I made and it worked really well... but then we got a new washer and it has this function to make the soap foamy so I wanted to try liquid soap... so I went hunting again and found that what I had could be dissolved, as I went about making up 2 gal. worth I found out that was a MESSY undertaking!! would not recommend it! it still worked well but I was noticing that the washer was getting a film on the inside, so I ran some bleach in it and that cleaned it up.. but I learned that the sent crystals I had used in the powder were wax and were leaving that film (I was not so happy about that) so I went back to my favorite place Pinterest and found a liquid no grate formula. I then made it mine by concentrating it so I did not have to use 1/2 to a cup but rather 1/8 to 1/4 cup

3/4 cup washing soda
3/4 cup borax
1/3-1/2 cup Dr Bonner's liquid soap (I used lavender) adjust as needed..

In a cheap pot (I have one I do not use for cooking, only this kind of thing) I put 6 cups water and the washing soda and borax. I then heated until just below boiling and turned off and added the liquid soap.
Let sit until you know it will not melt your container(s) then add 4 cups to the bottom of each gal. container then slowly fill with water. (I have a fridge water container that holds 2 1/2 gal. so when I get low I can make 2 gal and fill it) This one you can do without a pot just hot water if you want :)

This seems to work even better then the other and is cheaper! even using the Dr Bonner's, I spend about $16 total on the items and have made 4 gal. so far all items have enough to make at least that much more and the Dr. Bonner's 2x that (I got a 32 oz bottle on sale for $10)

I am ok using the borax in liquid form because it only causes breathing issues when in powder form, so the box is kept well away from the pets and humans to be safe.


 

Update on the eyes....

I had my follow up appointment with the eye dr. this week and it was a day! but all that aside we have 2 main options...
1) surgery again (no insurance for that right now, but after I get on medicare they will cover that one)

2) prisms in my glasses (did not even ask how much that would cost!)

so we were talking about the insurance issues and he mentioned that there is a stick on prism that they can put on my current glasses that is affordable ($30) and will let us know if that really is a good idea for the long run.
So we did it and I get to start wearing the "new" glasses today (ok, I should have started today but I was lazy and they did tell me to let it cure for 24-48 hours, in a safe place not in the case, and they did not get to that until almost 11pm Thursday night)
I have to clean them in a different way now (to avoid removing the stick on) and it will make the vision a little blurry with that eye (ok, so it will just match my contact with that eye lol)
But I got some good information from the lady who put it on, she said my rimless frames is not an option with an in lens prism (they are to thick and the pins for the rimless are not long enough). so I mentioned to her my idea of vision correction to lighten my lenses then maybe I could do the rimless or another really lightweight frame.. she thought it was a great idea. I did tell her I had no notion that it would give me 20/20 vision as my eyes are so bad but if we can make it medically needed, as it is less invasive as the surgery I had 7/12, so my body might tolerate it better.... for now that is just an idea but one I like :)

Thankful November....

I see on Facebook all the posts where people are saying they are thankful for this and that. and while I have never done the daily posting like many I usually think about it most the month.
This year has been hard for me, looking back I thought last year was hard and in ways it was but this year is teaching me more and those lessons seem to be harder for me to learn.
So I am struggling with being positive this month but I am struggling, meaning I have not given up. I do not plan on giving up. I am a fighter and while I might take longer then I like to learn my lessons I will learn them!!!
I look back and in the last year I have learned a lot about me and who I am, what I have to offer the world and my friends and how to use it better. I still have a lot more learning to go but I feel like I am starting to trust in myself more now than ever before. I do not tend to share much about that as some people feel differently about it and out of respect for them I do not want to share it. but I am working on a writing project about it (it is on the back burner right now to another project).

Looking forward the next few months hold many challenges, decisions that have to be made, about where to live when the lease is up, how to afford a place, lots of things there, but I have guides to help me and I am sure that the right path will be shown me. even if it is not the path I want... I trust that I cannot plan every detail and that I must go with the flow but I will do my best to prepare for every path I can see so I have as much done before as I can.
 I thought I would share a video of one of my furry friends who keep me company and loves on me when I am down.. This one is special cause he is about 17 and playing like a kitten here, with my knee brace LOL, I think it got catnip on it somehow..

Bampa

This past Halloween my Grandfather aka Bampa passed away. I knew that his passing would hit me even if in many ways I had grieved for him already. It still has not hit but I know it will and I am not trying to stop it or ignore it.
Part of my writing this is to maybe get that rolling, as I know it needs to.
I wanted to not focus on the last years of his life when he did not know anyone but rather remember the good times.
He is my first grand parent to pass so in that I am vary lucky. He was almost 83 I believe (I could be a year off)

He always had a candy bar somewhere (that G'ma aka Bobbi did not know about) and if I asked nicely I could get him to share it with me (as long as my dad and Bobbi did not know about it) I always seems to find them (he never did find out how I did that, I was a snoopy kid and would look, but most of the time he was right here when I did it so it was not like I was hiding it)

He loved to watch TV, I remember when he came to visit one time eating pizza and watching TV (and playing Sonic) at Aunt Tina's house. Things I did not get to do at home.

I loved hearing him sing, he did not like his voice but I did, now that I have had something happen to mine I understand his dislike of his, cause it was not what it had been before, but I did not know it before and I liked it just the way it was.

I remember that he let my little sister (who was really little at the time) pick out the dishes he got when he moved back to UT before Bobbi (she had to finish the school year, teaching)

I remember his love of raw potatoes (one he passed down to me, odd I know but memories now)

I remember how loving he was in his own way, kind and loved to spoil us.

I remember his love for buying in bulk to get a better price (even if he only needed one like the honey severs, he got a gross <144> and everyone had them and there were still leftovers)

I remember his love for pens, he always had lots of different ones (another thing I got from him)

I remember that he was a Notary, and when my dad had to take his seal back to the police office (when my grandparents got divorced he left it so my dad needed to turn it in)

Most important I will always remember his hugs.

RIP Bampa, until we meet again.

New project

I have been working one a new project... this one on the computer.. a writing project about my life with Fbyro and some ways to explain it to others. Today I was working on my typical day and decided that I needed to detail out 3 kinds of days a typical day, a good day and a BAD day... well the bad day one cracked me up so I thought I would share it here... while I did combine days for the examples the fatigue lvl is correct.

Bad day: mumble to hubby as he gets up to please feed cat, roll over. Wish I had enough energy to eat. Grab the flat soda on the night stand, almost drop it, manage to spill it on the bed. Grab the towel by the bed for this reason place under me as I am not moving. Day creeps on… nap on and off, is it bed time yet??? I need to eat… hubby offers to bring me the food he is making, only he forgot what he is making upsets my tummy, ask for pasta (it always goes down) make a mess of my shirt with pasta. Oh well no shower tonight, I hope I can get out of bed tomorrow. Crawl to feed elderly cat, then back to bed for the night. Now I am awake… listen to audio book for hours until I finally get to sleep.

I love this pain scale, for fybro I have a HIGH pain tolerance (not normal) but that means that when I say I am at a 5, I am putting it against the worst pain I have ever had that really fits the top of this scale. I have been at a 2-3 daily for 13 years then when the fybro hit 3 is a GOOD number I can function with that (as long as my joints are not stiff, and the fatigue is low) I can keep to a 3 most of the time if I do nothing but sit on a heating pad, but then I cannot function cause as soon as I get up the pain goes up. silly nerves :(