Monday, February 13, 2017

Interesting weekend experience

So this weekend we had a craft fair, LONG day for us as we were in charge of the fair and all the drama that goes along with that..
By the end of the day I had nothing left and yet I still felt like I needed to make sure that everyone there was good and spend some time talking to some that I had not yet that day...
So Lisa and I head over to one Gal.. I had met her when she paid for her booth and I felt like I knew her but could not place where.. she looked super tired and as we talked we found out she was running on almost no sleep and was warn out.. As we talked she shared a story about her kids and having to report a case of child abuse and the pain that caused the whole family. Given the history of our upbringing both Lisa and I understand that. As we talked she mentioned how she had stopped going to church for a long time over the issue (the elders in the church would not report it to the state and the rift that caused) She gave me the standard you need to come back to God talk, and told me to watch out that I avoid witchcraft... She then preceded to do something that many in her church would see as witchcraft (having been a part of that church and having the gifts we do, we have both had challenges in understanding ourselves) Normally when someone tries to read me I put up walls to make it harder, this time I did not and it shocked her I think as she was hesitant to share what she was able to read, and was shocked when I told her that my father was a pastor.. I then found out she knows my mom's family and was involved with a summer camp that I will miss for all time, mostly because of the land that I loved!
I understand the struggle she has to be herself and yet be what the church wants.. That is the reason I moved on, after years of study and feeling like I could never be good enough I knew my leaving would hurt some of my family deeply, but I had to do it for me. I had to be me without always feeling like I am not good enough.. Sadly thanks to the years of having that shoved in my face I am still dealing with it every day.... but the last 3 years or so I have made more progress then in the 30+ years before. I am starting to do the work on me that I needed to do 20 years ago... that will make me a stronger woman and a better person..

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